Memphis

Lately, at the hospital, I've been asked, "where are you going for radiology?" And when I answer Memphis, I've gotten the same response every single time: "oh, are you from Memphis?" Do I have to be from Memphis to want to do residency there?

It's getting on my nerves for several reasons. Memphis is far away and it's a strange city with a high crime rate that I'm taking my baby to, away from her loving grandparents and our friends. I only know a couple of people there and I've never spent more than a few hours outside of the hospital. YES, that is all very intimidating. I don't need to be reminded of that every time someone asks me about my residency, and I know that's what they are thinking when they ask me if I'm from there. Also, most people have never even been to Memphis and they are going by what they have heard. They don't stop to ask me what hospital, what section of Memphis, or WHY I chose that program. They may even assume that it was not my first choice of residencies.

If they did ask me Why, here is the answer. I didn't want to interview there, because I, too, thought it would be a terrible place to live. I interviewed there because they were the first program who offered me an interview and I bought the plane ticket immediately. After a few hours into the interview, I was 90% sure that this was the program for me. I loved the people and the area very much. I truly felt God was telling me "this is it." I even called Wes while I was on a break and said "I love it! What do you think about moving to Memphis?" He said, "Sure!" I kept in touch with some residents, flew up there for a second look a few months later, and I just knew. And btw, its in a beautiful section of Memphis.

There are days when I still doubt my decision, mainly because I'm terrified to be so far away from our family and friends. What if something happens? We can't just get in our car and drive home. And, everyone is going to miss Annabel so much. Who will help us up there? I've lost more than a few hours of sleep worrying about it. But you know what? God is so good. He called me to this place and this program. He loves me enough to have a plan for my life that is bigger and better than anything I could plan. Early on, I was sure I would end up at UNC... it made so much sense, was so close to Spartanburg. But Memphis is where we belong. I don't know why yet, but I'm excited to find out. I hope you will be excited with me.

Dom do dom dom

According to usps tracking, my domperidone has arrived in New York, all the way from Vanuatu. If you don't know where Vanuatu is, don't worry, I didn't either. It's an island nation west of Fiji. I wikipedia'd it and learned all about the culture, religion, climate, etc. I knew I would feel better taking medicine from a country once I learned more about it. And I do. After all, 1/3 of the country is Presbyterian.

I'm too excited about it getting here, because hopefully it will help me be able to store all kinds of milk for Annabel in case I can't keep up pumping once I start working wards in October. At least once a day, I think "I can't do this anymore" so yesterday I found this article about 100 reasons to breastfeed and it kept me going another day.

Tonight is the Va Tech/ Boise State game. We are so excited to get to see Andrew, Wes' brother, play! GO HOKIES!

Annabel is doing great. 6 weeks old almost! She has started reaching for her toys and focusing her eyes on your face when you are talking to her. She definitely loves her daddy! When he walks into a room and starts talking, she turns her head all around to find him. And I love that.

Update

I only have a second, but I just wanted to update you on the new me :) I told my hairdresser to give me a makeover, we picked out a picture from a magazine of Jessica Simpson with short hair, and he started cutting. He said "do you need to be able to do a ponytail" I said "Neh" and 5 inches later we arrived at, well, my haircut. I was determined not to do the typical "bob" which I've resorted to many times. I wanted something brand new, you know? So I have really short hair with a lot of layers, and the part I hate, bangs. I didn't remember her having short bangs in the pic... but oh well. They brush to the side, but don't tuck behind my ear yet so they constantly fall in my eye. Ergh. They are almost too short to pin back, but I have decided to wear the bobby pin with confidence, even if it is right behind my forehead. Once those grow out, it will be ok.

Working out... ah. I forgot how much I hate working out. I did go to the gym but didn't have much stamina. Maybe it is too soon? Then I read online that BF'ing moms shouldn't lose weight quickly because pesticides from your fat can be released into the breast milk. Yikes :( So at least I have an excuse to lose weight slooowly. I did weigh a bit less today though, so I think there is some natural weight loss going on still. I have 10 pounds to go, and I think I'm ok with that.

I'm still NOT ok with my foot growth. How did having a baby make my foot longer??? Do you know how hard it is to find cute shoes, size 11? Still not accepting it yet. Which means I'm still wearing the $10 flip flops I bought while pregnant every day. They are literally falling apart.

Finally, I have resorted to ordering prescription drugs from other countries to increase my milk supply. Before you go all "that's not safe how dare you do that while nursing my grandchild" Mom, you can go to this website. :) http://www.breastfeeding.org/articles/domperidone.html
Don't worry, I will still smell like the Waffle house.

Preview of photo shoot

A few weeks ago, aunt Jeslyn came and took pictures of Annabel. My mother, inspired by photographers' photos online, brought over a car full of "props" so some of these photos are OVER THE TOP! I love it and its so characteristic of my mom to go all out... haha. We actually made it through all of the naked baby photos without any accidents!

A 'New' Mom

Annabel turns 1 month old Wednesday... so crazy how fast time goes by! The first week of her life, I was living on adrenaline. The second week, fatigue set in and it was a fog. By week 3, I was quasi-regaining control of my thoughts, time, emotions, etc and now that week 4 is here, I am ready for a makeover. Ha!

I decided a year ago that I wanted Kim/Kourtney/Khloe Kardashian hair. Yes I watch their shows and no I'm not ashamed. Even my husband can tell them apart by now. (And, yes I am going to Dash when we go to Miami in November) So I started letting it grow out. Except it took forever and didn't have a style and now its just long and matted looking. I don't have time to style it and long hair takes time... unless you do a ponytail which is the only way you will ever see me wear it. It takes an hour to wash, dry and straighten, and I just don't have that kind of time. (Who does, seriously?)

So, I made the appt to have it cut tomorrow. Also, I have played the "the first x pounds melted off, I bet these last 15 will too" game and I lost. These last 15 are just hanging out. It was great the first few weeks... getting on the scale and it always being less and less! Now, its pretty much stuck on the same number, which is higher than I've ever weighed. Mainly, I want to be back in my regular clothes because maternity clothes STINK. And, I still can't wear my regular shoes :( I'm not ready to talk about that yet because I think the increased foot size may be permanent and I'm not ready to accept that I may never be able to wear any of my shoes ever again.

Today I hit the gym and worked out. Slowly but surely, I hope I can lose it. The dilemma is that when you are b'feeding, you are supposed to increase your calories, so I'm in a conundrum. Anyway, I hope to be debuting the new and improved me soon :) Speaking of delicious food, I am making a chicken divan tonight, while wearing my sweet baby in a homemade moby wrap! I love this thing.

Pump, pump it up

It's funny how things change when you have a new baby in the house. I knew things would be different, but it's hard to anticipate how. I have started back to work and it is quite a challenge to get myself presentable to be at work by 9, which probably doesn't even seem early to most of you. But between feeding and pumping, I don't know where the time goes. On my way to work yesterday, I congratulated myself for feeding Anna b, straightening the front part of my hair, and getting foundation on before I had to run out the door. So what if I forgot blush and lipstick and didn't have time for the bird's nest that was the back of my hair... people only see the front and at least my breakouts were covered. Success.

I never thought my life would revolve around a breastpump, but that is the case. Breastfeeding is really hard and I tip my hat to anyone who can continue it after going back to work. I decided that if I were going to attempt it, I would need a fancy pump. I should explain that our norm had been her using me as a human pacifier for hours on end and still being hungry 30 mins after she finished nursing. Certain parts get a little sore if you know what I mean. I had to buy extra, special parts for my special pump and it ended up costing more than Wes' car payment this month! I thought it would change our lives by helping me make all kinds of milk to feed her in a short amount of time. No more 3 hour feedings in the middle of the night!

BUT, that didn't happen and it turns out that a pump doesn't even get as much milk out of you as a baby can and your supply can dwindle once you switch to pumping. Ergh... What to do?? I researched online and found an herb called Fenugreek, which is supposed to increase a mom's milk supply. The only problem: it makes you smell like maple syrup. Seriously. It is what they use to flavor maple syrup. So, the next time you smell, I mean see, me, pretend not to notice because I'm really self conscious about it. Despite smelling like IHOP, I do think it's working for us. Another success.

That's about it. Unless you didn't hear enough about breastfeeding and pumping! Annabel weighs 8 lbs now! She's doing great. I'll be posting more pics soon.

Week 1 and hospital pics

I can't believe I have a 1 week old. I have been wanting to blog for days but I've been so overwhelmed with emotions that I didn't trust myself not to be a babbling brook on here. I will try to suffice it to say that there is absolutely no way to explain or even describe the love you feel for a child. (This is coming from someone who never thought I would love anything more than my dog-child, Abby.) I actually worried that I may not love Annabel as much as I love Abby at one point during the pregnancy...

Motherhood does bring a lot of unique challenges, unique in that every new mother experiences challenges but different ones. I have enjoyed talking with and praying for some friends and new moms, while cherishing their prayers for us. We definitely feel those while we are burning the midnight oil.

We've had lots of firsts this week: car ride, drs visit, walk in the stroller, bath. It's all so special and I'm trying not to go overboard posting pics to facebook. One of the best things has been watching Wes fall in love with Annabel. When I wake him in the middle of the night for help, he just smiles. A daddy's girl in the making, for sure.

Thank you all for your well wishes and prayers!